Ferment Within

Last Friday, I made my way to London to visit a Durga Puja pandal. I reached just in time for the last anjali of the year, and sat through the dashami puja. At the same time, many Rhodes Scholars were in London to express solidarity with protestors in South Africa. They made their way to the South African High Commission and even made the High Commissioner sit with them on the ground and listen to them.

It's been a frequent occurence through the year. As part of the Rhodes Scholar community, I am exposed to a large number of inspirational (and often intimidatingly brilliant) young men and women seeking to disrupt the existing system. There is a revolutionary fervour in the air. There is impatience with status quo. And there is boldness in attacking the system. 

However, my battles have mostly been within. This experience at Oxford has given me the opportunity and the distance to be able to look at my own actions and try to make sense of them. It has given me the opportunity to be critical of thoughts I have had and actions I have undertaken. It is a process that has gained momentum since I read Gandhi's autobiography. Gandhi, a deeply flawed political leader and activist, showed a great deal of self-awareness and honesty. That is something that I seek to replicate.

I was recently asked in a professional conversation what I want to do in life. I said that I wanted to earn enough money, and keep myself professionally excited and engaged. But what I really seek to do is to initiate and contribute to, and to learn from, a conversation about this internal ferment. I want to continue to push myself to be a better and more sensitive human being, and I want people to know about my thoughts (so they can learn) and I want to learn from them so I can advance myself.

I also believe that this kind of clarity will help me be more impactful professionally. At work, I have often found myself face the temptation to confirm to what is common. However, over time I have come to start giving shape to what I believe would be my way of navigating workplaces. I sought to, and at least partially succeeded in, harmonising how I behave in my personal and professional lives.

The Durga Puja in London was my way to reconnect with my cultural heritage. But it was also a way for me to engage with my past and to reflect. The festival will return again next year - reminding us of the circularity of life, the ebb and flow of this mortal existence. The only hope is that the next time it comes around, we'll be in a better place.