A week of turbulence: Trump's election victory

The past week was as difficult for me as it was for several people around me. For nearly six months now, I have been obsessively tracking the elections in the US and it has, to put it mildly, been a roller-coaster ride. My now abandoned blog on politics is testimony to my interest in politics around the globe. But this time was different.  I experienced Donald Trump's victory very personally, not with the academic interest that I have usually displayed for American elections. 

A few months back, when I was going through a difficult time, I came up with the idea of a 'web of dependencies' to explain why the burden of sadness in my life had remained constant despite me making so much progress personally and professionally. Buddha called attachment - to people, things etc - the cause of sadness. As we go out there and expand the number of people, things and circumstances that we're used to, we throw the 'web of dependencies' farther and wider. By virtue of having crossed the seas two years back, my net has grown a lot and it is now difficult for me to ignore happenings in places which earlier didn't matter.

There are two images that sum up why I feel so agitated about this result. The first is of a Latina who's in the US on a dodgy visa barely making ends meet. I was in the UK during the Brexit vote, going through a difficult personal situation. The uncertainty of those days crushed my spirit. The expected clampdown on immigration scared me. I wasn't sure whether I could pull through those difficult times, whether I could ensure my continued existence in a few months' time. It didn't help that the world around me suddenly seemed more hostile. From reading about news of racial attacks to being called 'black' and 'poor' on the streets of London, it only heightened my anxieties. By the grace of those who loved and supported me, I find myself in a good situation today. However, my heart bleeds for those who are now in America and can potentially be affected by this outcome. I cannot imagine the fear of those who are quasi-legal immigrants and of vulnerable minorities like LGBT people who've won their freedoms after a really long struggle. Even if not all of these come to fruition, like it hasn't thus far in Britain, just the fear of the next few months will be immense. Nobody deserves that!

The second image is of an American colleague's four year old son who said to him, "daddy, I saw Donald Trump on television. He always wins." The idea that someone who talked about grabbing women 'by the pussy' and has denigrated muslims and latinos among many others is going to be 'leader of the free world' is a deeply distressing thought. What message will we pass on to our sons — that how you treat women is irrelevant? And what about the daughters — that their dignity is optional and only at the mercy of men? I grew up in India and have experienced first hand how different the quality of life between me and many of my female friends is. The last thing we need is for that template to spread instead of dying out. This is a big setback for some of the values that I hold dear to me. As I have met people from different backgrounds, I have confronted some of my own biases and most often have found my prejudices disappear rather quickly. The idea that all of us deserve respect is now a non-negotiable for me. The fact that this was one of the things at stake and that it lost is distressing for me.

My immediate reaction to such disturbing news is to shut myself out and focus on my work. At the time of turbulence after the Brexit vote, I ignored everything else happening around me and focussed on my upcoming examinations. The better-than-expected result was probably a result of my desperate attempt to keep the endless thoughts out of my head. One option for me right now, and for those who are struggling with the same emotions as I am, is to dedicate ourselves to our work. Thankfully for me, the work I do is socially meaningful and is exactly the kind of assurance that I need at this stage.

However, that would be the easy way out. That will leave unaddressed the issues that got us to this position. Bigotry isn't something that will cease overnight, it has to be changed. All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to not do anything. When I got back to India, I pledged to call out sexism every single time that I saw it. The goals like are much bigger, of course. Many of us in India are gloating that we don't have such xenophobic tendencies, but the reality is that we do. The only reason we don't notice is because we have low hanging fruits. Some day these fruits will run out and our frustrations will then be directed at the 'outsider.' We should prepare for that day already and in the meantime assuage the anger that is sweeping through the world. It all starts with kindness. I am very, very scared. But it is only when I have been scared that I have found myself capable of doing things that make me proud of myself. I am hoping that all of us can discover that something that makes us tick and get through this difficult time.

What I learnt at Oxford

1. Fitness comes first:  People in the UK seem to take far more care of their health and appearance. While I have been exercising on and off for years now, Oxford saw me become more regular. Over the first summer, I started going to CrossFit gym and often landed up at work unable to climb the stairs. Then there was the earlier ‘100 surya namaskars a day’ phase and an even earlier rowing phase. Most recently, there has been a gym phase. All of this is supplemented by slightly healthier eating. As my flatmates would attest, I still give in to my ice cream and chocolate craving far too often, but burn at least part of it in the gym.
2. Casual racism and sexism is NOT okay:  Much of what I’ve learnt in the UK is sensitivity. For long, I would argue that making racist jokes is fine as long as no harm is meant. However, first-hand experience soon taught me that much of racism is subtle and pervasive. It doesn’t always take extreme forms. Therefore, racist jokes – even with the ‘best’ intentions (if there are any) – tend to reinforce those stereotypes and preserve a status quo of racial superiority for a select few. On the flight to India, I was watching Sultan and the movie made me cringe. Having been brought up in an environment where Bollywood seemed to reinforce every kind of racist, sexist and homophobic thinking, I am not anxious about re-engaging with where I left off two years back.
3. Travel is fun and expensive:  Before coming to the UK, I had only been on an office retreat to Phuket and to a few places in Europe. After coming to the UK, I have travelled to many new and exciting countries, including Israel, Turkey and Iceland. More importantly, as I plan trips for the next year, I keep that spirit of travelling alive. I have funded all my travels from my UK earnings and that has caused me to save up before a trip. There have also been numerous trips to London to get the Schengen visa. All said, I realised that I do enjoy travelling a fair bit. I remember my trepidation the first time I travelled in Europe; now I approach these situations with a sense of adventure and discovery.
4. I can be SubhaChef:  I have had a love-hate relationship with cooking these two years. At times, the rigmarole of chopping onions and tomatoes has driven me crazy. But at other times, I summoned the iron chef within me and cooked a meal for 25-30 people in a few hours. A rather conservative cook, I recently also starting branching off into other states’ cuisines, culminating with an army’s worth of tomato pappu. A cousin recently told me that a person who can cook is a truly liberated person. Well, by that metric, I now consider myself liberated.
5. Just keep swimming:  I had enjoyed thinking of myself as a melancholic and dark individual. At Oxford, I learnt how to set myself free. Free from my past and free from the expectations that society has of me. I learnt that to pause is to give yourself an opportunity to miss a past that you will inevitably glorify. I learnt to keep moving ahead in life and look back only briefly, perhaps to re-learn forgotten lessons. I learnt that even in the face of the toughest adversity, you don’t give up. You keep moving and one day, the challenges will all seem rather trivial.
6. Embrace the privilege:  At Oxford, I was part of a community where someone’s privilege was often used as a means of cutting the person out of a discussion. Without going into the argument of how privileged I am, I believe privilege is something to be celebrated. It needs to be celebrated in two ways. Firstly, gratitude and happiness that you were born in a setting where you bypass certain problems. More importantly, it should be used to create a better society. Many of our independence stalwarts came from privileged backgrounds, including Gandhi. This did not prevent them from having sympathy for those who weren’t. Privilege, therefore, can be a means to serve society and don’t let anyone tell you that your views aren’t appreciated because you’re privileged.