So, Swati told me today that it had been quite some time since I've posted on my blog. Truly, it has been over a month now since my last post. She also added that my last few posts were not worthwhile. 'The one on economics was boring, and the other one was depressing'. This somehow beautifully related to what I thought I should write about - how much should one's past actions and emotions affect the present?Where I started thinking about this was while reading this book my dearest papa David Clarance gifted to my on my birthday, Rick Warren's The Purpose-Driven Life. It said 'you are a product of your past, but not its prisoner'. I loved this quote because it amalgamated with the stream of thoughts that I was having around that time. I felt an excessive burden of my past - the sense of emptiness, the shallowness of achievement, the depth of friendships, the burden of expectations - weigh down upon my thoughts. So, where was this line where I could stop being a 'prisoner' and be merely a 'product' of my past?
The answer, of course, is subjective from person to person, situation to situation. However, how this 'lakshman rekha' can be found is with a sense of detachment. Detachment from thoughts, detachment from emotions and generally, detachment from any kind of stimulus that solicits a response. When I am able to detach myself from emotions and look at thoughts, especially those about my past, without making judgments, then my assessment is going to be unbiased. That is probably when I am going to cease being a 'prisoner' of my past.
This is probably the idea behind vipassana, one of the most ancient meditation techniques in this world. It talks about feeling your emotions and thoughts without being judgmental. I urge my (few) readers to check up on vipassana meditation on youtube when you're not feeling too well - of course, hoping, that such a situation does not arise in your life.
But getting back to the question, what should my relation with my past be? My past should ideally be an instrument to make my present better - which means I should be able to take lessons from my past. However, in order to take correct lessons from my past, I must view it without prejudice. This will be achieved only with a sense of detachment. Hence, my relation with my past will be fruitful only when I am able to detach.
