Staying Healthy and Positive During the Lockdown

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

It's now been nearly three months that Indians have been in some kind of lockdown. Social distancing and work from home have become the new normal for many of us. Worse still, cases of Covid-19 in the country are only increasing, and it is not clear when this nightmare will end. All of this creates a deadline cocktail of anxiety.

Like most others, I too have struggled to cope with the challenges that these unprecedented times have thrown up. My financial and other privileges have, of course, kept my situation much better than that of many less fortunate compatriots. But all of us are unique, and both rejoice and suffer uniquely. Therefore, while reminded ourselves of our good fortunes, we should also be acutely aware of how we're feeling, and ensure that we're keeping healthy.

Needless to say, over the past three months, I have tried many different ways to keep myself mentally healthy and energised. In this blog, I am sharing a few things that have worked for me. Your situation might not allow you to do these things, or they might not even work for you. My purpose in writing them down is that some things might resonate with you, and could be the beginning of a conversation you have with yourself.

• Exercise - I cannot stress this enough: regular exercise helps keep your mind in good spirits. I was lucky enough to have ordered some equipment right before the lockdown, and that has allowed me to work out nearly everyday. There are, of course, days when I really don't want to go through the motions. But a gentle nudge, and encouraging myself to work out just a bit, helps. I would also recommend keeping your phone away during exercise. I find this helps create a space where one can detach from work completely. I also find it useful to walk back-and-forth both within and right outside my house, and to find a way to soak in fresh air.

• Eat Healthy and Regularly - Another old favourite. Since I live alone, I need to manage my own eating habits. In the initial days of the lockdown, like most others, I also had to cook my own food, clean my own dishes, and do my own grocery shopping. Even with the cook now back, I'm often tempted to either postpone meals, or order something unhealthy but delicious. However, I realise that we may be in this for the long haul, and eating healthy helps keep both mind and body in good shape. Therefore, I eat lots of fruits, and try to eat my meals regularly. At first, I used to order a lot from restaurants because the great food cheered me up. But it became repetitive over time, and now I try to cook myself often to keep things diverse. It's been especially challenging because I'm trying to be vegetarian since the beginning of the year, but I've thankfully held up well thus far. 

• Stay Connected with Friends - Social distancing can lull us into a state of social indifference, where we feel that reaching out to people is a chore. This is a risk especially for introverts like me, who don't need as much social interaction. In many cases, we may simply not be accustomed to only hearing or seeing our close friends digitally. Moreover, many of us in the corporate world might find that we need to schedule things with friends before we can call them. But we need to realise that we're social animals, and interacting with other humans is a simple human function. I have re-discovered the joys of video calling, and frequently speak to many friends. I take the liberty to call them without 'scheduling' things, to encourage the culture of lowering barriers.  

• Follow a Schedule - Work from home is challenging for many people because of the blurring lines between work and home. If I don't feel like doing something now, I can do it late at night or over the weekend anyway - it's all the same! I've struggled with this too, especially because I live in a studio and the physical boundaries just don't exist. I must also confess that in the first two months, I gave into a very toxic cycle of no separation between work and personal life. I'm getting better now - for example, keeping emails and work away on weekends. It feels great, and I feel refreshed on Monday mornings. Even during weekdays, I've started avoiding India-based calls after 5 PM. Trust me, it helps. It's not always easy and not always possible - especially if, like me, you really enjoy work. But it's important. Our minds aren't designed for months-long treadmills. You may not feel it now, but your mind will eventually give you the signs.

• Enjoy Life - This could be the new normal for a few months or years of our lives. We can't stop living life, in the hope that it will all be back to normal soon. We live in a very uncertain world. Between geopolitical tension, economic contraction, civil unrest, and another pandemic - who really knows when our lives will next get disrupted? The key is to treat ambiguity and disruptions as 'normal', and not (completely) pausing life while waiting for things to go back to how they were. I've found solace in three things. First, I've been reading a lot and try to keep most of my weekends just for reading. Second, I watch a lot of shows and movies online - something I wasn't into earlier, but find very enjoyable now. Thirdly, I eat ice cream more often than I otherwise permit myself to. Every person has to find what works for them. I don't think the idea should be to push oneself and learn a new skill 'for the future', but to do things one enjoys.

Small Man, Big World

  The futility of life is difficult to accept. Many of us are troubled by the fact that our actions and our very existence is meaningless in the bigger scheme of things. We turn to creative ways to mollify our bruised egos and battered souls. Some of us turn to religion, an archaic institution that should find no place in a rational scientific society. Religion helps us feel that each life has a direct connection with a supreme being, and is therefore part of a cosmic plan. Others turn to little acts of kindness, and try to make a difference in the lives of those immediately around us - friends, family, the downtrodden etc.

The latter path is certainly appealing, but it runs into a dead-end when one realises that the primary determinants of their lives are systemic issues like the economic models countries follow, or the level of freedom and liberties it guarantees to its citizens. Of course, little act of kindness can make a material difference to the lives of the beneficiary, but can individual action ever fully compensate for systemic failures or oppression?

My profession takes me to the core of the problem. For years now, I have been working on social protection and digital rights. The very foundation of these issue is the nature of the citizen-state covenant. Both are determined by the nature of government we created, how this government views its citizens, whether it trusts and empowers them, and how it deals with perceived threats to its existence.

When working on these issues, I cannot but feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the forces I'm encountered with. Let's take the example of India. The nature of the Indian state was determined by the cataclysmic events during partition, and the need felt by our founding fathers to create a strong government to hold the country together. Therefore, they created a constitutional architecture that borrowed heavily from colonial-era laws, and which provided the government significant freedom to impinge on human rights. This led some like Constituent Assembly member Somnath Lahiri to remark that the fundamental rights have been 'framed from the point of view of a police constable.'

Over the years, there has been a steady and gradual accretion in the power of the state. This process has been further accelerated by the advent of technology and the ability to place digital leashes on an individual's behaviour and even thoughts.

Therefore, every time I think of where my work is really headed, I experience feelings of despondency and anxiety. Despondency because I feel that my work cannot really make a difference, and that forces that are exponentially larger than me are at play. Anxiety because of the fear that those who feel threatened or offended by my thoughts might retaliate.

Quite ironically, then, I think I might find refuge in what the Bhagwat Gita says - "कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन, or that you have the rights over your actions, but never over its results. Therefore, perhaps my limited role in all of this is to keep doing what I think is the right thing, without worrying about whether it leads to anything at all.

Perhaps the collective strength of thousands like me, each chipping away at that elusive goal, might mean something substantial in the larger scheme of things. And even if it doesn't, perhaps I will end this lifetime with the satisfaction that I tried my best.

I worry about the state of liberal democracy.

As 2019 draws to an end, I can only look back and be thankful for a year where I learnt a lot. But, like for many of you, these past few weeks of the year have been an emotional roller-coaster. Many of us found ourselves questioning the direction of our country and the values of those around us. Many of us realise that this is the beginning of issues that will polarise our society in year to come. As preparation for that long haul, two reflections stood out for me.

First, there is an urgent need to defend the right to protest peacefully, even of people that you disagree with. On 16 December, I took a major step in my journey to be a responsible member of society when I showed up at Town Hall in Bangalore to join a peaceful protest. While I certainly had a view on the merits or demerits of the CAA, that wasn't the point. I was protesting to protect the right to protest peacefully. That week was an eye-opener for me! The police repeatedly created impediments for the peaceful protests I joined, first by detaining and threatening some of us, and finally by taking away the fundamental right to assembly by imposing Section 144 in Bangalore. There have been many other instances of disproportionate use of state power to quash protests - bones broken, libraries tear-gassed, private property damaged, and families separated.

At the macro level, I believe that creating an outlet for citizens to voice their discontent is good for the stability of the country. If such outlets are not created, the discontent will brew within individuals and then find more extreme manifestations later.

Closer home, I have taken many decisions in my life where I respectfully disagreed with someone in power, and am much better off as a result. Right from the job I chose, the MBA I didn't do, or the relationships I engaged in - I have been fiercely independent in each of these decisions. Of course, many of these decisions turn out to be wrong. But the very act of standing up, taking ownership, and being able to speak truth to power has helped me grow. To me, this freedom is the foundation of my life.

Therefore, I want each of us to be able to experience that freedom. It could be something as banal as the freedom to hang out with your friends, to choose what you wear, to stay out as late as you want, to study what you want, to take up the job you like, or to love and marry whoever you want. Or it could be something as consequential as the kind of government you want or the policies you think it should follow. It all really boils down to the same fundamental concept - should you have the right to live your life without being unduly restricted by those in power - family, society, businesses, or governments - as long as you don't harm others? I believe yes, and which is why I was on the streets protesting the disproportionate use of force on protestors and to protect the right to protest.

Second, I have also realised that there's so much misinformation and hate circulating on social media platforms like twitter, and communications platforms like WhatsApp. And as Amber Sinha rightly points out in his book 'The Networked Public', this issue cannot be addressed simply by providing the right information. Such misinformation campaigns work because they exploit underlying social and cultural factors to drive hate and outrage. Moreover, the sheer volume of misinformation will likely make constant fact-checking difficult. In fact, Gartner has said that by 2022, we will be exposed to more incorrect than correct information.

I am still very overwhelmed by the complexity and scale of the issue at hand. Societies are complex structures, and therefore require careful and thoughtful application of mind in order to succeed. But misinformation and inciteful content are like termites eating away at the foundations of modern society. Over the past few weeks, I have seen it play out both on mainstream news channels, as well as WhatsApp groups. It is a different experience to read about it, and quite another to see it play out on an issue that you care about.

Put together, these two issues threaten the very basis of liberal democracies. It's not just an Indian problem - the world over, we are seeing the gradual slide of democracies. For years, I have grown up under the assumption that liberal democracies are the 'steady state' of humankind. But let's be honest - these are very new forms of governance that have gained traction only over the past seventy years or so. It is fairly possible that democracy as we knew it will soon die.

That worries me because freedom has meant so much to me. With it, I have everything; without it, I am nothing.

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* - I saw commentators and acquaintances speak about how the violent crackdown was an appropriate justification to damage to public property. But that's looking at this all wrong. In my work on privacy, we often talk about 'proportionality', and these incidents brought the concept to life. Should police break your car if you jumped a traffic signal? If someone from your neighborhood murders someone, should the entire neighborhood be lobbed with tear gas to find that one person?