On love. And companionship.

It has been a quiet summer, away from the hustle and bustle of regular life. I have had some time to absorb the new experiences of the past year, and reflect on what I have learnt and where I have come. The transformations within myself have been natural and building up over the last year, but now was a good time to reflect.

One of the major learnings I have had is my new way of dealing with this thing called love. I belonged to the school of fanatic, all - encompassing love. I loved intensely, and at several points in the past found myself on the verge of falling apart, but picked myself up, achieved something professionally and then glossed over the injuries festering within. Working for two years had numbed me to an extent, but when I came to Oxford and was pulled into the cacophony of new relationships, I found that my healing process hadn't been completed. I found myself drawn once again into the cycle of attachment - expectation - disappointment - disillusionment. Once again, my response was a strong professional comeback. I exercised. Did yoga. Did a bunch of extra - curricular stuff. That created a distance between my mind and my experiences, and have since then helped me weave myself away from that to new beginnings. To companionship.

Companionship, to me, is love on slowburn. The flames of passion are subdued, and the bond of duty is what guides the ship towards a destination. Companionship enables. It holds your hand gently and walks with you. It helps you grow. It is there for you to talk to. It is there to admonish you gently, and yet come to your rescue whenever you're in trouble.

My recent life had only been an attempt to be a magnanimous and generous lover, but now I see how short - sighted I had been. Relationships, like much of life, need much investment. Good relations probably have lots of patience. When one wraps love in these layers, that is where it starts becoming companionship for me. My thoughts on this subject are still evolving, and I'll post next when I've matured my thoughts a bit further.