The other day at Lodhi Gardens, Anoothi asked me what three qualities I value most in a person (as an aside, it seems AT Kearney is as fixated on the number three as McKinsey is). The first two were obvious choices - empathy and honesty. I thought a bit about the third and finally picked discipline. Here's a bit about why these are the things I value the most. 

Let me start with empathy. Life is a long and often difficult path. Everyone here is fighting their own battles. What I mean by empathy is (1) simply the realisation and acceptance that everyone is fighting unseen, unheard battles (2) an ability to be able to make space for people without necessarily being told about their problems (3) a connection with one's own and others' emotional side. I believe that if one has these three qualities, one will always make himself/herself available for everyone around them. It will come effortlessly. I consider myself fortunate to have been surrounded by empathetic people in College; people with so much empathy that they have actually spoilt me. Swati, for instance, always makes herself available for everyone in such wonderful ways, even if she isn't necessarily your best friend or even if it takes so much out of you. I constantly look up to her and hope that I have the strength and fortitude that she displays.

The second is honesty - something that I have come to value recently. For me, honesty also includes openness with people. At Oxford, I found people very empathetic and very disciplined but found many of those around me to be mysterious individuals who didn't open up easily. They were difficult to read and hence it bothered me for some time, till I came to terms with it. Why this trait matters to me is because we are all so consumed in our lives that it is difficult to know how those around us are feeling. In that case, it is useful if we can be open about how we are feeling and what we want, so that those around us can respond adequately. I have seen so many relationships crumble because people wait for the other person to pick up cues. 

Finally, I have come to value discipline immensely. Discipline, in particular punctuality, helps keep life organised. It helps people around us plan their lives and their days easily. I go back to Salman "Dabangg" Khan - "once I give a commitment, I don't listen even to myself." In this way, commitment just makes the operation of the world easier. Discipline is also an ability to take short term pain for long term gain. In that respect, it complements the above two traits very well. 

These three qualities are not only those that I seek in others, but those that I try to achieve in life. I am lacking in all three, especially discipline, and the desire to improve myself constantly is what keeps me wanting to wake up every day. Perfection, thankfully, is never achievable and hence there is always scope to improve.