What I learnt at Oxford

1. Fitness comes first:  People in the UK seem to take far more care of their health and appearance. While I have been exercising on and off for years now, Oxford saw me become more regular. Over the first summer, I started going to CrossFit gym and often landed up at work unable to climb the stairs. Then there was the earlier ‘100 surya namaskars a day’ phase and an even earlier rowing phase. Most recently, there has been a gym phase. All of this is supplemented by slightly healthier eating. As my flatmates would attest, I still give in to my ice cream and chocolate craving far too often, but burn at least part of it in the gym.
2. Casual racism and sexism is NOT okay:  Much of what I’ve learnt in the UK is sensitivity. For long, I would argue that making racist jokes is fine as long as no harm is meant. However, first-hand experience soon taught me that much of racism is subtle and pervasive. It doesn’t always take extreme forms. Therefore, racist jokes – even with the ‘best’ intentions (if there are any) – tend to reinforce those stereotypes and preserve a status quo of racial superiority for a select few. On the flight to India, I was watching Sultan and the movie made me cringe. Having been brought up in an environment where Bollywood seemed to reinforce every kind of racist, sexist and homophobic thinking, I am not anxious about re-engaging with where I left off two years back.
3. Travel is fun and expensive:  Before coming to the UK, I had only been on an office retreat to Phuket and to a few places in Europe. After coming to the UK, I have travelled to many new and exciting countries, including Israel, Turkey and Iceland. More importantly, as I plan trips for the next year, I keep that spirit of travelling alive. I have funded all my travels from my UK earnings and that has caused me to save up before a trip. There have also been numerous trips to London to get the Schengen visa. All said, I realised that I do enjoy travelling a fair bit. I remember my trepidation the first time I travelled in Europe; now I approach these situations with a sense of adventure and discovery.
4. I can be SubhaChef:  I have had a love-hate relationship with cooking these two years. At times, the rigmarole of chopping onions and tomatoes has driven me crazy. But at other times, I summoned the iron chef within me and cooked a meal for 25-30 people in a few hours. A rather conservative cook, I recently also starting branching off into other states’ cuisines, culminating with an army’s worth of tomato pappu. A cousin recently told me that a person who can cook is a truly liberated person. Well, by that metric, I now consider myself liberated.
5. Just keep swimming:  I had enjoyed thinking of myself as a melancholic and dark individual. At Oxford, I learnt how to set myself free. Free from my past and free from the expectations that society has of me. I learnt that to pause is to give yourself an opportunity to miss a past that you will inevitably glorify. I learnt to keep moving ahead in life and look back only briefly, perhaps to re-learn forgotten lessons. I learnt that even in the face of the toughest adversity, you don’t give up. You keep moving and one day, the challenges will all seem rather trivial.
6. Embrace the privilege:  At Oxford, I was part of a community where someone’s privilege was often used as a means of cutting the person out of a discussion. Without going into the argument of how privileged I am, I believe privilege is something to be celebrated. It needs to be celebrated in two ways. Firstly, gratitude and happiness that you were born in a setting where you bypass certain problems. More importantly, it should be used to create a better society. Many of our independence stalwarts came from privileged backgrounds, including Gandhi. This did not prevent them from having sympathy for those who weren’t. Privilege, therefore, can be a means to serve society and don’t let anyone tell you that your views aren’t appreciated because you’re privileged.

Norms of Human Interaction

I was recently asked in a job interview whether, as someone who has an impressive resumé, I find it frustrating to work with people who aren't as intelligent. There are two levels at which my answer was 'no'. Firstly, equating academic success with intelligence is very problematic to me. It is true that I have seen successes in the last few years which have given me an advantage in many things in life. I have noticed that interviews have become a lot easier and that colleagues at work and peers are a lot more respectful. But I vividly remember a time when I used to work very hard and yet didn't achieve a fraction of the academic success I eventually did. I remember one particular time in Grade 8 when I worked very hard, yet failed to improve my ranking in my class. I remember vividly the Grade 10 'board examinations', where again I worked hard but failed to break into the Top 20 of school. For me to tell myself that the successes that started two years later have made me more 'intelligent' would be a lie. Success or failure is very often a matter of luck and, unfortunately, life is very path-dependent. I wouldn't want to take those successes (and myself) too seriously.

Secondly, intelligence is only one dimension of human achievement. One who is very intelligent would also have much to learn from those who have other talents. As a country, we have unfortunately built a lot of our notions of success around academic and job-related achievements. However, as I have discovered myself, achieving something meaningful requires so much more. Among the things I have found important are inter-personal skills, confidence, dedication and quite honestly just pure intuition.  So-called 'less intelligent' people around me might have a lot to teach me about things that I don't know very much about. I view human beings as a summation of experiences and emotions; by being given a view into another person's experiences, I achieve the distilled version of years of learning from her. No scope for arrogance here!

That conversation and other recent reflection forced me to think about what are the values that I seek to maintain as I interact with the world around me. This exercise is obviously post-facto — I look back at my history and try to find a common thread. Then I believe that the common thread is both the representative one and the desirable one and thus worthy of further emulation. That intellectualising done, I came up with two norms that I really value. Empathy and humility.

My thinking around humility is very similar to what I wrote earlier. In short — too much to be, too little time; therefore acknowledge the limitations of my own learning and try to learn from others because everyone will have much to teach me. The second trait of empathy is one that has resonated with me for much longer. The most obvious manifestation of that norm is my inability to say 'no' to people around me. I keep seeking a compromise till I figure out that there is none. I also act as if it is my duty to be as helpful as I can. At points in the past, that notion has stretched me too far. I got trapped in this unhelpful mentality where I was doing things for the other person. That strategy has its merits — and limitations. There were moments when I tended to play Godfather. That thinking has its time; certainly one that I hope not to revisit. I now seek to be far more constructive in how I help people and avoid the kind of dependence I encouraged earlier. More importantly, I am trying to shed some of my earlier inhibitions about asking for help. I believe all of us can become far more efficient if we ask the right people. The dreaded word 'networking' has now become more palatable when I mixed it with this expanded notion of empathy.

These two norms have come to characterise how I perceive my interaction with people. I have given it this much thought and attention because, as my near and dear ones know well, interacting with people doesn't come very naturally to me. My class teacher in Grade 3 asked my parents during a PTA if I had a speaking disability — that's how shy I used to be. I didn't have any friends in my locality from Grades 7 to 12; therefore, my entire day after returning from school would be spent on the computer, with books or preparing for the next debate. College was an unleashing of sorts, but one where I struggled with some aspects of how I interacted with people. Oxford, after a short crisis at the beginning, was a process of stabilisation and reflection. The objective behind this post is to share this aspect of my journey with people, with the added benefit being that I may be held accountable when found in violation of these norms.

Please do share any reactions either as a comment here or as a private message. In particular, if there have been times when I have interacted with you and you have thought that it would have been better had I behaved differently, I would really appreciate if you share that with me. Thanks for reading and have a good evening!

It only takes a few lightbulbs!

On a mid-summer visit to Bihar two years back, I stopped for lunch at the best restaurant in Araria city. I had only a day to spend in this remote part of Bihar before heading off to the capital, Patna. One of the best ways to learn is to talk to people — with that in mind, I asked the chauffeur if he would like to have lunch with me. While talking about his life, the people, language and the villages we had visited earlier in the day, the electricity went off and came back at least three-four times in an hours' time. I asked him if this was routine. He said it was.

While the number of Indians without access to electricity (250M+) is gaining recognition, we must also keep in mind that even those with electricity most often face very poor supply. As a child, I used to go every year to Gorakhpur in eastern Uttar Pradesh. The 6-8 hours of power cuts everyday would frustrate me. But I now realise that there are a large number of people, in the hundreds of millions, who receive electricity for less than 4 hours a day. Of course, basic access to electricity is very important. But just like we focus on quality healthcare and quality education, we should also focus on quality electricity access. Just like an empty hospital brings no benefit, electricity access only till before sunset has less practical use as well.

Much has been written about the Modi Government's claims about electrifying a certain number of villages and whether those numbers are made-up. That is completely missing the point, in my opinion. There is a systemic failure here, one that wasn't invented by the Modi government. The norms for declaring a village as 'electrified' as really low. A village with as few as 10% of the houses electrified can be declared 'electrified' by the Government. Such a low bar also results in equity issues, because one can easily imagine what kind of households get electricity first.

I wouldn't want to go into why this situation has come to be, except to point out that there is a typical in-group/out-group problem here. Those who do have access to electricity tend to misuse it so much that it becomes economically unviable for the government to extend access. For example, widespread theft results in T&D losses of 40-50% in many states. The extent of this problem can easily be understated. I have heard from peers coming from economically privileged backgrounds mention how they were party to power theft by their parents. In retrospect, one of the moments in life that I am most proud of is when I took a principled stand against power theft happening around me and was thereby able to prevent it. We must not be mute spectators!

However, this is a massive public goods problem that will take a lot of effort to solve. What do we do before that? How do we bring energy access to the millions without it? Thankfully, the high T&D losses make localised and renewable solutions cost-competitive! Ranging from solar lanterns to 40-50 kW plants, there are a whole host of commercial and scaleable options out there. Companies like d.light have gained significant traction and have provided access to tens of millions of people. The problem is too big for a handful of companies to handle and therefore, organisations such as the Rockefeller Foundation have taken on the task of creating an entire ecosystem of companies.

But what I want to come back to is the power of the individual - of you and me! After having moved to the west, I was appalled by the energy intensity of life here. The average Indian household consumes less than 20% of what an average British household does and less than 10% of what an average American or Canadian household does. Part of it is driven by need — colder countries need more energy! But part of it is availability. However, the complacency of affluence that I encountered among richer Indians, and now among people in the west, is distressing. Saving energy where it is not required is possibly the first step — even if of little practical use to an energy-starved Indian, it is a great moral signal! Sometimes, I go around in office switching off lights in unoccupied rooms.

More practical would be to support organisations that go out there and support electricity access. One way that I find quite convenient is to find an organisation on Milaap and donate a part of my income to it. The capital intensity of off-grid solutions can be quite discouraging, but crowdfunding might be a solution.

I go back to what I wrote during my Rhodes application. I said emphatically that 'equal opportunity for all' was my aspiration in life. Equal opportunity cannot even be imagined in the absence of unequal access to energy. Because climate crusaders risk inadvertently locking energy-starved people in Asia and Africa in a state of perennial deprivation, it is incumbent on us to both push back on that and also to seek a middle ground via commercial and scaleable renewable energy. For the 1.2 billion without electricity and the several more with poor quality access, the flickering bulb at night can be the light that guides them to join the rising tide of globalisation and prosperity.

On Leadership

Much has been written about leadership, starting with the question of whether it is innate or developed over time. By virtue of working at a firm that requires 'leadership', this question has come to occupy a central place in my life. In recent times, as I have honed the academic aspect of my life even further, I have spent much time thinking about leadership. What does leadership mean, especially for an introverted individual such as me? Is leadership bravado? Is leadership visibility? Is leadership passion?

The answer I came to is that leadership is an idea. Some ideas (such as writing a great thesis) do not require leadership - and that is how it should be! However, to take certain ideas to fruition, one will need to mobilise people around them. That is leadership! I will unabashedly say that I am not a 'natural leader', at least not in the way that the word is commonly used. However, at many points in the past, a particular idea has motivated me enough for me to take a leadership role. One such idea was my idea that a particular organisation I was part of (and influential in) needed to work in a way that was different from status quo. I lead - without ever thinking of it as 'leadership' - a group of peers and juniors to try and bring about that change. I was so consumed by passion for what I was leading towards that this mantle of 'leadership' fell very naturally on me. At other times, and in other organisations, I have been content being a cog (albeit an important one) in the wheel. This is what I have often called my 'model' of leadership, that of leadership by followership. I was inspired by the quote - 'the first follower is more important than the leader.' This aspect of my leadership style has been one of enabling. I do not take center stage, but allow someone else to do that and then back up that person to the hilt.

The point I am making is that, in my experience, leadership is only an outcome of a much larger process of fulfilling an idea. I would feel comfortable knowing that I do not unnecessarily make everything I do a demonstration of leadership. My preference is a 'design-to-value' approach to solving problems. The aim, therefore, is to be great at solving problems - leadership or solitude would be only incidental in this approach.

There is another aspect that I have given a lot more thought to - personal interactions. I believe 'leadership style' is often conflated with how one interacts with people around them. However, I look at these things as completely independent. More so because I try to adopt a holistic and consistent approach while interacting with other people, i.e. treating those 'lower' than oneself in the social hierarchy in the same way as one treats those who are 'higher'. 

Therefore, if one arranges these 'types' in a matrix form, my aim is to move towards the box that implies having a consistent way of dealing with people and a 'design-to-value' approach to leadership.

Change-makers from Uganda

A dramatic moment during my Rhodes scholarship interview makes so much more sense now. Towards the end of the interview that had moved from the Sen-Bhagwati debate to the Food Security Act, the panel asked me "We can see that you've done great things academically. But what have you done for others?" In a moment of minor bravado, I got agitated and said "There has not been a single day in my life when I have not tried to help someone. If my fault is that I have not built a nice NGO around it, then I am at fault and a part of me regrets it. But I refuse to be a one-man show."

My thinking has changed much since then. The bitterness of peers getting ahead in life because they had more to show for "social service" is now gone. Having reached a comfortable position in my career, I feel answerable only to myself and that has allowed me to be free from having to position myself in a certain way. I have now started thinking actively about how I can contribute to the world sustainably and with high impact.

One such way that I found very rewarding was pro-bono consulting. It started off as a stint with the Oxford Microfinance Initiative, consulting for a handicrafts NGO in Cambodia. Later, I found myself busy as a Project Lead for a months-long effort with New Generation Thinkers' Foundation (now Saint Ann Foundation) in Kampala, Uganda. From March to May 2015, I led a team that worked with SAF to define themselves and to think through meaningful changes that they could make to their organisation. At the end of the project, much like regular consulting, we handed them a powerpoint with our key recommendations.

To me, that was obviously not enough. Saint Ann Foundation works in a very difficult environment. The average Ugandan earns almost a third of what an average India does, and India is a very poor country to start with. While working for RSSAF, I also realised that the challenges faced by the NGO sector in Uganda are quite large, with a very massive skill gap and weaker financial linkages, even compared to India. The 'barriers to entry' for new NGOs are immense. This is where something like Saint Ann Foundation comes in. They are a group of young, motivated Ugandans who are doing all they can to bring change in their community. As a privileged member of the global youth community, I believed that it was imperative on my part to help them in any way I could. Therefore, even after the project ended, I have been in touch with SAF and working with them intermittently. SAF has now reached an inflection point - they have acted on most of the recommendations that we gave them, and the biggest barrier they now face is one of capital. Much like other NGOs in Uganda. This could be my, and your, chance to pitch in.

It is difficult for Ugandan NGOs to raise funding internationally due to the large transaction costs. After spending weeks evaluating the cheapest method, SAF and I have summarised some of the methods on this page. It is quite easy, especially on World Remit, and takes only a few minutes. For friends in India and UK, I will be happy to make the transaction on your behalf so that we can reduce transaction costs incurred.

I also completely understand if donating money is not top of agenda for you right now. However, you can still help! Start-up NGOs like SAF face more issues than just financial, and one of them is visibility. SAF is applying to a number of international partnerships (eg. GlobalGiving). It will therefore be great for them to have a large(r) social media presence. Please do like their facebook page, and share this post so that more people globally can hear about them.

At some point in the past, I would think a lot about why a particular organsation, why not others etcetera etcetera. However, I now realise that it is more important to take the first step, even in it is an inaccurate and tentative one, than to think too much before taking that first step. I have found a productive outlet, and hopefully a sustainable one, for the social worker within me. I hope that I can use my social networks to be of some use to these young change-makers from Uganda.